Learning To Be Resilient

In The Face Of Breastfeeding and Parenting Challenges

If there's one thing parenting will teach you, it’s the importance of resilience and the ability to be flexible. Whether it’s the ups and downs of breastfeeding or the unexpected twists and turns of raising a child, being a parent requires the ability to adapt and keep going, even when things don’t go as planned. Resilience isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us—it’s a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Flexibility is a mindset that can be fostered with time and practice. Both qualities are essential to finding joy and balance in the sometimes chaotic world of parenthood.

In this blog post, let’s dive into why resilience and flexibility are so important for parents and breastfeeding mothers and how you can build these skills to feel more grounded and empowered.

Why Resilience and Flexibility Matter in Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is important, but it’s rarely as straightforward as we envision. Many parents face challenges, from latching difficulties to milk supply issues, tongue ties, and everything in between. Even when everything is going well, what you thought you knew last week changes in the blink of an eye. In those early days, you might feel like you’re walking a tightrope, trying to balance the demands of breastfeeding with your own well-being. When things get tough, resilience and flexibility are the qualities that can help you weather the storm.

Remember, we may have all kinds of ideas about what babies should be doing and how they should be acting in our modern world, but our babies are still cave-babies! They still do cave-baby things like being scared when they aren’t being held, needing lots of comfort, and being fed frequently.

• Resilience helps you bounce back when things don’t go according to plan. Maybe your baby isn’t gaining weight as expected, or perhaps you’re struggling with pain or interrupted sleep. Resilience doesn’t mean ignoring these challenges; it means facing them, seeking support, and finding a way to move forward, no matter how difficult it may feel.

• Flexibility allows you to adapt and adjust your approach as needed. Breastfeeding isn’t one-size-fits-all, and sometimes, you may need to be open to different feeding strategies, whether that’s supplementing with expressed milk, adjusting your nursing routine, or finding creative ways to make breastfeeding work within your life. Flexibility helps you let go of rigid expectations and respond to your baby’s needs in real time.

  

How to Build Resilience as a Breastfeeding Parent

Resilience is like a muscle—the more you work on it, the stronger it gets. Here are some ways to cultivate resilience as a breastfeeding parent:

• Build a Support Network
  Resilience is easier to develop when you’re surrounded by people who understand and support you. Seek out fellow breastfeeding parents, support groups, and professionals like lactation consultants who can provide guidance and encouragement. Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can give you the strength to keep going when times are tough.

• Focus on Self-Care
  Taking care of yourself is essential to building resilience. Also, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your baby. This might mean getting enough rest (as much as possible with a baby), eating plenty of nutritious foods, staying hydrated, and finding moments of joy or relaxation. Self-care can look different for every person, but the goal is to make sure your cup isn’t completely empty as you care for your little one.

• Reframe Setbacks as Learning Opportunities
  Challenges and setbacks don’t mean failure—they’re part of the learning process. Instead of viewing difficulties as roadblocks, try to see them as opportunities to learn and grow. What is this experience teaching you? What new tools or strategies might help you overcome it? When you shift your mindset, each challenge becomes a stepping stone rather than an insurmountable obstacle.

• Celebrate Small Wins
  Building resilience doesn’t mean waiting for the big milestones to celebrate. Every small victory counts, whether it’s making it another day or another week. Recognizing these wins helps reinforce that you’re making progress, no matter how incremental.

• Embrace Imperfection
  Perfection isn’t the goal—being present and responsive is. Embrace the fact that parenting and breastfeeding aren’t always neat or predictable. Allowing yourself the grace to make mistakes, try again, and keep going is a powerful act of resilience.

• Adapt to Your Baby’s Needs
  Babies grow and change quickly, and their feeding needs can shift over time. Flexibility allows you to respond to these changes without feeling overwhelmed. Some days, your baby may want to nurse more often, while other days they may seem less interested. Being flexible helps you meet your baby where they are, rather than forcing a rigid schedule.

• Let Go of Strict Expectations
  Having goals is wonderful, but it’s also important to let go of strict expectations. Perhaps you had envisioned a specific routine, but your baby has other ideas. Flexibility helps you honor your goals while also making room for adjustments that feel right in the moment.

• Be Open to New Solutions
  Sometimes, a little creativity goes a long way. If you’re facing a breastfeeding challenge, consider trying new techniques, positions, or tools. Flexibility can mean exploring different ways to soothe your baby, finding alternative feeding methods, or adjusting your environment to make breastfeeding more comfortable. The ability to explore new solutions without clinging to a single approach is a valuable parenting skill.

  

Building Resilience and Flexibility as a Society

Resilience and flexibility aren’t just individual qualities—they’re values we can foster as a community. Here are some ways we, as a society, can support parents in building these essential skills:

• Normalizing the Realities of Parenting
  Parenting and breastfeeding is often idealized in media and social platforms, making it seem effortless and picture-perfect. By sharing real, honest experiences, we can create a more realistic narrative that encourages resilience. Acknowledging the challenges as well as the joys can help new parents feel less alone and better equipped to handle the ups and downs. This doesn’t mean putting down parenting and breastfeeding all the time because it is hard. This means recognizing that it is hard and celebrating ourselves for doing something truly amazing - motherhood!

• Advocating for Better Parental Support Policies
  Paid family leave, affordable childcare, and access to lactation support are all crucial to helping parents feel secure and supported. When families have the resources they need, they are more resilient and better able to adapt to challenges without unnecessary stress. Supporting policies that prioritize parental health, infant mental health, and well-being of the dyad is an investment in our society’s resilience.

• Creating Communities of Support
  Whether it’s a local mom group, an online community, or neighborhood gatherings, building networks of support can make all the difference. Communities allow parents to share advice, offer encouragement, and provide practical support to one another. When parents know they have a safety net, they’re more likely to feel resilient in the face of challenges.

• Providing Access to Education and Resources
  Knowledge is power, and access to evidence-based information on breastfeeding, child development, and parenting can empower families to make informed decisions. Educating parents on what to expect and where to find support allows them to approach challenges with greater confidence and flexibility.

  

Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. By cultivating resilience and flexibility, you’re setting yourself up for a journey that’s not only more manageable but also more fulfilling. There will be hard days, no doubt, but by leaning into these qualities, you’ll be better equipped to handle them with grace and compassion for yourself and your baby.

As you navigate breastfeeding and parenting, remember that it’s okay to ask for help, to change your plans, and to keep going even when things feel challenging. You’re building skills that will not only benefit you as a parent but also serve as a foundation for your child’s own resilience. And in a world that constantly changes, resilience and flexibility are among the most valuable gifts you can give yourself—and your family.

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